Current mood:

Please... stop all the pain...

Pain
I talk, but my words are filled with anguish...
I laugh, but it is hollow...
I smile, but the corners always turns down...

I live with my mother, but she can't tell any of this. She doesn't know anything about me... she can't hear the anguish in my voice or how hollow my laughs are... she can't even see the corners of my smile turning down. I realize now that it's because she has no real interest in me. When we moved here 7 years ago, we both changed. I became more intelligent, and I lost my naive way of thinking. My mother... became obsessed with work. All she does is work and read. Her books are more important to her than I am...

This town has been the apex of my misery. It started seven years ago. Since moving here I have felt nothing but pain and suffering. And, though I try to stop people from feeling this same pain, all that ends up happening is people start hating me...

Do I really have the strength to keep living? I don't know any more. All I know is that my heart is heavy with sadness and I don't want to feel this pain any longer...